Wake Up With Marci

Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy, a deep dive into self-discovery. I’m your host, Marcy Hopkins, and this is the space where we get real about life, transformation, and finding our true selves. Denise, welcome to Wake Up with Marcy. I’m so grateful to have you here. Oh, I’m so I’m so excited and blessed to be with you. Thank you. I got to tell you, we’ve known each other for quite some time now. Exactly. and we have done some book signings together which have been really fantastic. Tell us what’s going on with your book right now. So my book So I have a book and then I’m also a co-author of a book but moments in motion with love has taken on a life of its own. Um because it did come out during a very challenging time you know during co is when it came out and I don’t know if you know the back story but it came to me in my sleep. So, that’s another whole story we could talk about, but um there’s so many things happening with the book because it’s all about tapping into your inner child. It’s self-love, love of each other and love of our planet. So, there’s a lot going on, reaching out to different organizations and connecting. So, a lot of great things.

I got to tell you through my healing journey I have truly discovered selflove and it is the beginning of a life of happiness. It truly is. I start every day with love. I know I I’m worthy of love today and I’m able to love others and let love in. And it’s just it’s so beautiful. So I love also on your social media and everything you you do moments in motion, right? and and talking about love and and it’s it’s really a beautiful thing. Let’s talk about the first moment or experience cuz I know you’ve gone through you know quite a journey yourself. Yes. What sparked your journey of self-discovery and how did it impact your life? So you know we we all have our you know our history right? There’s many things that have happened to us in our lives. Some some have not had such deep and dark things that have happened to them. But one in particular, me losing my voice in 2006 in a car accident was very very um dark. You know, my voice is everything. It was my livelihood. It was my job. It was what I did what I did what I do, you know, and I like to talk. So that’s another thing. There’s some people that like to be not so um saying what they want to say, but my voice was important to me like everyone else.

But even I just got to say Denise if you’re not able to talk I mean that makes for a very difficult life. So even if it was your profession and of course I think that a lot of people could understand how difficult that must have been. So you know even even a nuance you know I had a six-year-old my 2006 is when that actually happened to me and I had a six-year-old um fortunately during you know from when he was born until he was six I was able to talk. He was really the only one who really could connect with me but even going through a drive-thru I could not project to order something that that simplistic it may sound like nothing but that simplistic thing was like not not I was not able. So this happened to you. So take us on the journey. What happened from there? I mean like did you go to a really dark place? Like did you take us through it? So, you know, and we just you just said something about self-love. So, I’m going to tap on that in a minute. But yes, um well, I was dark. No one knew, right? Because you kind of hide the darkness when you’re feeling in that in that situation. Like I said, I had a six-year-old. I had to go to to school where I worked every day. So, I I had to put this brave face on. But when I would come home, but at night, I’d cry and then I’d wake up and smile all day and then go back to sleep and cry again. So the darkness, it was heavy. It was heavy. And I didn’t have my voice for 5 years. I did not have a voice.

Right now, I get Botox injections to speak every four months. Uh being a speech and language pathologist, I knew a lot. So that wasn’t my first protocol to follow through because I knew too much. And you have to find the right doctor, of course. You know, that’s key to having the right doctors on your team and what have you. But um so for 5 years, no voice. Um but then coming to acceptance, this is a big thing. I think you know about this acceptance that I did have a disability and I do and I didn’t realize that until I really thought about it. And I really had to fight for my life. I had to fight for my from where I worked. I had to fight everybody and everything. And when I mean fight, fight fight daily for my own self-preservation, but also fight the system that you know they don’t they don’t really see you as that you needed help and you need accommodations. So that that is something to be said about that. So I became an advocate for that. I think my book is all about that as well. You know, selflove is how you get through things.

So let’s talk about uh mindfulness and emotional wellness. like how did you find your way to loving yourself? I knew that in order every day I always had to look for just even this much light. The light got me through it. Even if it was a little seed, there were some days that were brighter than others, but I always had to look for the light. Or for myself, what I would do, smiling really helped me. I know this is going to sound totally out of whack, but smiling for me sent endorphins to my brain that no matter what people were doing around me or whatever I was feeling, I was able to handle it because I smile. I just smiled. It it just was a a tool. Another mindfulness tool was breathing or just coming back to center. God, you know, listen, I don’t know if you know about me, music has healed me in multiple ways. Um and I talk about that how music not only just the music from studying speech voice from studying this was my field I studied it is a true thing that frequencies and vibrations can do so much to you. So, I would take songs and when I was feeling really down, I I would pump it up in my car if I had a bad day, but also listening to the lyrics or the words and reading them, knowing why did this song mean so much to me? What hit me in my in my soul? So, that was another mindfulness tip for me.

So, I think it’s mind, body, and soul. So, nature, you know, that was one of the things, grounding and different things like that. looking for affirmations, just trying to have words that lifted me up and then of course movement too was very important. So those were the things that set me on a good course when I was having a really really dark day. And then I got my voice back in 2011 because I then had found the right doctor and team to get the injections and I’ve been going since 2011. Wow. Now, are you you still a speech and language uh pathologist? So, I don’t work in the school system anymore. And I really have so many other things to do with the new purpose that I was given. You know, we give different we get different purposes at different times in our life and this was a new purpose and I think you don’t understand the enlightenment and the awakening that I was being set up for all of this. I didn’t you don’t realize it until you’re in it. you know, you were being we were being set up for the next the next phase and the next way to to really shine our purpose and our light on the world. So that so right now is so the book is all incompensing. So can I can I work as a speech pathologist whenever I want but you know for the most part I need to really bring to the world what saved me how I how I really found self-love and how I didn’t realize that it was self- loveve that that got me through that very very dark time. So that’s so.

I’d like to say I mean if you’re going through a difficult time out there it is a part of life and a lot of times when we are in the middle of the storm it’s really hard to think that we’re going to be able to get out of it. But there is so much that we learn through it. And sometimes we do go through these very difficult times so that you will be able to help others and you will shift your life in into a different way just like Denise is talking about doing what she’s doing now. And even myself um I I am almost 10 years sober. I went through uh sexual abuse and abandonment. My parents were alcoholics and so there was a lot there was a lot that I dealt with in life and I now have have found my purpose in life through my sobriety and my healing journey. So just know that you’re not alone out there. And that’s why I love to have these conversations, Denise, because you can feel like you are such a victim, and we are victims at times, but we need to shift our perspective on that and the way that we think about it. So, we then can open ourselves up to the possibilities and and now to think you’re an author and you’re inspiring others and you’re doing the things that you’re doing, it it’s really incredible.

So let’s talk more about you you’ve created a a program is that correct? Um I’ve actually created three programs but one has really t really unbelievable. I I I created a program that is called yoga emotions with love. So what that what that does is my book it’s like you become part of the book. Every page of the book comes to life. So it’s almost like you’re infusing these moments of what I’m sharing with you on the book but now you could feel it through movement like the sensory you know some you know as an educator people learn in different ways so that that education is always on me. Um so the sensory portion of that like the butterfly moment we do a little breathing in the beginning so every page of the book comes alive. Yeah. I love that. And I do love that it’s for younger people and and adults. Exactly. Yeah.

So, let’s talk about some powerful practices or tools that just, you know, maybe two or three if you uh that our listeners or can, you know, incorporate into their daily lives. So, like I said with the music, I really I really have to say that this really but it’s how you not everybody wants to do this, but I think they should give it a try. Um, if a song if you’re listening and a song hit you, stop the song and read the words. What know why? What’s the why that this song has hit your heart? Yeah. And then play the vibration. Make it make you powerful or make it make you even if it makes you cry. That is okay. Yeah. You know, and songs bring you back, you know, back in time. Songs bring you to that happy times. They could bring you to a sad time, but really tapping into all of your feelings is an awakening. You’re you’re allowed to feel it and you’re allowed to to go through it. So, that’s one tool that I use.

Um, of course, being in nature, being at the beach, I love the beach. I love the ocean. If you don’t love the beach, why there’s one line in my book says the trees have wisdom. Go sit under a tree and just think about how long some trees have been here for 400 years. Yeah. What? I mean, like think about that, right? Under a tree. Go sit even if you don’t want to sit in the dirt, go put a chair under the tree, whatever. you know some but go do that because there and then or if you can travel and visit these amazing parks that have trees that have a history it’s amazing like there’s unfortunately there was what happened in Maui I was there with that tree that tree the branches go all around it’s for miles um and it’s starting to get its life back but the what I want people to understand is about the grounding that’s another level so if you go to the tree then Understand that when you feel the ground, so I do this, too. I walk around sometimes with no shoes on. Some people don’t like that, but if you feel the ground, it’s important to feel the ground because it it gets you focused. You know, sometimes we lose lose ourselves. If you’re standing on the ground for a minute and take the breaths, like I said, did I talk about breathing? Breathing is very important. So, those are the three things. Music, get into nature, and and you know, breathing.

I love mindfulness activities that bring you to the present. And so what you’re talking about like putting your foot your feet in the the sand, which by the way, I woke up early this morning and went to see the uh sunrise, which I absolutely love because I’m a few blocks from the beach and I just there’s nothing more powerful to me than that. it I just feel like I feel God’s presence when when I am there and I I even put my feet in the water because thankfully it’s warm enough here but um there’s there’s a practice that I have learned recently and to to bring you like present and that is to look see five things around you right and um wait excuse me touch five things, see four things. Um, uh, there’s hear three things. Um, then there is smell two things and then taste one thing. So anyway, so you’re using your sensor. Yeah. To to get you into the to the present. And I got to tell you, when I start getting loopy and like I have things that I keep thinking about and I don’t want to do it anymore, right? One of the things that helps me is saying the ABCs. I know it sounds crazy, but it does work. No, no, it’s think of the two things at one time. Yeah, that’s funny. But it’s true because the brain the brain, you know, so I’m a speech pathologist, right? So the brain has different areas that hold on to different things. So you are actually giving it a different signal. You’re giving a signal. Yeah. You’re changing you’re changing the channel, you know. changing the channel. Change the channel, right? Oh my gosh. And it really, really works. It works.

So, how can somebody that wants to start this selfdiscovery for themselves, how can they start? Well, first, like I said, you know, you really have to want it. I know that make a decision, right? You got to make a decision. You have to want it. Um, and like you said, there’s like I have a lot in common with you, things that you have gone through, and we could have another conversation another time. I’ve been through all those things, unfortunately, as well. So, I don’t know if that gives you I I I don’t know why, but you know, you you have to persist and you have to persevere. There’s something about this um survival mode. So I I think there’s something to that, but I’m going to tell the listeners out there that you have to make a decision. You have to make a choice and then you are in charge of picking what you do. You’re in charge of that. So I I think that’s important to know. You have to make the decision to put that first and that is self love putting and then put it into action, right? I mean because I think we listen to things and people give us ways that they that we can help ourselves but then we don’t do them and that’s the only way I’ve create been able to create change in my life is by taking action every single day because we we h we are in charge of it.

And you know people can go to dark places and and you know the me mental health we need more we need more assistance in that area where people are not love to to not have help. You know, really that’s why I think I’m doing this because I want people to know that no matter what, you are so important in this moment. You you have to hold on to that because it’s it’s easy. You It’s not It’s not easy when you feel lost. Yeah. You have to It’s not easy. And you know, people will say, “Oh, I don’t understand.” Well, you don’t h You have to understand that they need your help. they need their help. So, it’s it’s it’s it’s a challenge in this world that um we need to give more services and more of this what we’re doing to help those who feel lost. Yeah, I think it’s it’s very hard to be connected today. And in I know for me and I’m thinking probably for you just because of the generation we were raised in, we were told not to talk about what was going on in our lives if it wasn’t good. And we always had to play play a certain role and and keep up a facade. But but the reality is to connect with people fully, you need to drop that mask and you need to be able to express your feelings. And once you do that, you give someone else permission to do the same. And then you really begin to create that bond. And and listen, we have to do a lot of things on our own. But it is having true connections, real connections, not quantity. It’s about quality of those connections and really letting people in. And the more you let people in, the more people that that will come to you and be a part of your lives in in a solid authentic way. there’s all you know and that’s the vulnerabil vulnerability because you you have to let your your mask down or let your guard down because that that is the only way you know. Yeah. Yeah.

So that’s what I was going to say you know I was going to ask you I mean how did vulnerabil vulnerability play a part in your process of discovering yourself? Well you see how we’re doing this this is vulnerable together. Just sharing our stories is very vulnerable. Um the vulnerability you have to be able to feel your feelings like permission like you know feeling getting giving permission to have those feelings and the vulnerability of letting those you know that you love or that love you what’s going on you know and don’t leave them in the dark because then you you know the darkness like I said you always have to look for the glimmer of light but they need to know what’s going on as well but also vulnerability makes a connection because there’s no perfection. The perfection does not exist. It does not exist. does not exist. So, if you’re looking for perfection, uh let’s really like hone in on this. It’s not You are beautiful just the way you are. Yeah. Yeah. And and accept yourself how you are, but there’s always room for growth. And that’s okay. That’s okay. Because evolution and as we evolve, we actually increase our happiness.

So let’s talk about people all of us have all of us uh struggle with balancing self-care being okay with that and then all of our responsibilities. So what kind of advice would you give to a busy parent or a professional a lot of times professional women also have children how can they feel okay and not have the guilt by beginning this process for themselves? That’s key. And that that is important and that’s a that’s a big one because women want you know there’s nothing about men but women take it all. We take it all. We have the children. We have a different instincts about our children. What what what I think is a little mothering of yourself if that that makes any sense. Um really looking like I just said before there’s no perfection. You’re doing things with love. It will always come through. If you come from the place of love, you will always win. Love wins. Yeah. So, love yourself, then the children. But the oxygen first, right? We need our oxygen. Always say that. Put your oxygen mask on first. Put the oxygen on because if you’re not breathing, you’re you’re pissing out. Yeah. Let’s not piss out. So that that’s my key, you know, little mothering of yourself, you know, because we if we rewind in our lives, not everyone has the perfect mother relationship, right? Mother daughter relationship. Um that doesn’t mean that you can’t mother yourself and grow. So there’s something to be said about that. That’s why my book is so important. I wanted to really tap into that inner child that could have been lost when you were seven or I was seven and really get me out of that to see that I am worthy and that I am so full of love that I have to give. So th that that’s really what you have to do. You have to do a little mothering of yourself.

Yeah. And I think that when it comes to self-care and and giving yourself some time and being okay with that, I think it’s really important to write down some some different types of things you can do, right? something that may take just a few minutes like you were talking about breathing or maybe it’s turning on some music and dancing or maybe it’s taking a bath, right? And then there are more moderate things that you could do that take more time. Maybe you’re reading a book or maybe there’s something that you, you know, going on a a 30-minute walk. And then there are things that that take more time like spending a day doing something you enjoy, a hobby you enjoy, or spending time with a friend. and really having these things written down so you know what’s important to you and what could you give yourself time to do a few times in the week or maybe give you that yourself that five minutes a day whatever it ends up being maybe it’s a five minute meditation or that five minute breathing or whatever the case may be right whatever makes you feel good to recharge yourself and that’s really what it’s about. It’s about re giving yourself permission to recharge and be better for yourself and then for others.

One thing that I have have started doing I will take about a a 30 minute uh whether I’m sitting down or laying down whatever it is I’ll do a 30 minute meditation and it is to relax my nervous system to recharge myself. I may fall asleep for five or 10 minutes, but it creates such a change in how I feel in my day. When I was a mom and I was trying to do it all, I would just feel like I had to keep pushing and pushing and I was a failure if I ever rested or stopped. Right? But the the the reality is that if you actually give yourself a little time to recharge, you’re going to be able to do better and focus more on those things and not be reactive to those in your life. So it’s really so important to give, you know, even if it’s scheduling it, like just start small, five minutes a day, right? Ex. Yes, I agree. And and to your point of that sometimes people the guilt right you don’t want especially with young children when we have young children it is a big guilt thing but when you are recharged then they get so much more from you the recharge gives back is a recharge of giving back. Yeah it’s a recharge giving back.

So let’s talk about somebody that’s feeling lost or stuck. I mean, how do you get from that place where you just feel like, yeah, you’re talking about all these great things, but I can’t possibly do that or you just have this constant negative narrative that’s going on in your head. How can you start to just say, you know what, maybe I can do this. What would you say to that person? So if I think about that it could be very difficult you know we shouldn’t say that it’s not difficult because it could be but I think but for me when I was going through it I took simple things to get me through and then they became bigger things. So I think like you said before about just taking a moment or taking time making like almost like a playbook of what you will do but it’s not that simple. So what I want to say is it’s not simple. I’m going to tell you straight out anyone who’s listening what you need to do is say let me take one moment at a time. That’s all you could do. So what in this moment would make me feel better and then it will grow from there. What moment? Okay, maybe that will become five minutes. Maybe that would become 30 minutes. Then maybe that will become an hour and then a day. So moments by moment because you know when someone it feels very low and very dark. You know I can’t just say to them or just snap out of it and go do something. That’s not that doesn’t work. No, that is not even fair to say to someone. What I would say is moment by moment, look for that glimmer of light because it will get bigger as you keep looking for it, focus steady on that little glimmer of light. Even if you have to go to the sun and look at the sunrise like you do, go find it. Go find the light. That that that’s the way. Go find the light. Smile a little more. Smile. I’m really There’s a science. You can read the science. Even Mother Teresa talked about smiling just makes you um just feel feel the warmth around but smiling is something biochemical in your brain. So when you feel that low just smile smile at yourself look in the mirror it may sound a little silly but it does change like you said it changes the the the even the chemicals in your brain change from doing that.

So, we’ve been talking about some amazing ways that we can move forward in our lives and and what we’ve done, but there are those out there that are feeling so lost or stuck and they’re like, “How can I even start?” What would you say to someone that wants to start their own self-discovery journey? What I’m going to say is, “I’ve been there, but you know, when you’re there, it’s not such an easy place. What do you do? How do you get out of it? What I say is take moment by moment because that’s all you have a moment in time. If you take that moment, it might become a minute, five minutes, a half an hour. You you have to start small because there’s no way that I could sit here and say that it’s easy at all because it is not easy and no one could tell you your journey and what you need to do. What what I will say as well that different things like smiling in the mirror, I smiled at myself. It may sound so foolish but it does change the chemical. There’s endorphins and dopamine and from smiling there’s a whole study on smiling. So it may sound foolish and maybe they don’t want to do that but my advice is my first thing is it is not easy and I will not sit here or stand here or be anywhere and say it’s easy because darkness is heavy. But you have to also look for any glimmer of light that you can go go to the beach. look at sunrise even if you just go look for the light wherever you can. Light will lift you up. So that’s what I want to say to because there are people that are very in a dark place and they don’t know what’s next and they don’t know how to get out of it. But I say moment by moment look for the glimmers of light and then look for people to support you. So that’s another thing. Look for those that will lift you up.

I just want to say it’s okay to have your feelings and be in that dark place. And I can relate to that too, right? But the reality is because I used to think this that I was alone and no one knew what I was going through. And maybe they didn’t. But once you, like we talked about before, find someone you trust enough to tell that you are going through something. There are people around you that want to help you. And we’re not meant to do this stuff alone. We really are not. There’s so much support. There’s people around you that love you and they are just waiting for you to make the decision which you have to make that decision to make the change in your life. Once you make that decision and you just say, “I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to talk about this.” And and maybe it is finding those those little moments in the beginning. But I just encourage you to find someone that you trust that you can talk to because we can’t do this alone. It’s so important. And there’s if if it’s if there’s somebody that’s not close to you or or excuse me, someone that is close to you and you don’t feel like you can trust anyone, you know, there are there are groups, there are people like myself, people like Denise, like I’m a coach. I help people do these things all the time and and we will give you the permission to be open and honest and start to create that change for yourself. So, I just just hearing that you’re not alone. I hope that you feel that right now.

So, let’s talk about the the creative side of change, like how being creative changes our brains and changes what we do and how we feel and how we can kind of move through these difficult times. How would you encourage encourage someone to start to explore their creativity? It’s interesting that you say that because what you said I I was it’s very vulnerable when I when you kind of rewind what you’ve been through in your mind you get you kind of could see you know in the rear view mirror. Um there was a time when I was very very dark you know so I understand the darkness but you’re talking about creativity. So during that dark period like I said I did have a child who you know needed my attention but my creativity did rear come come comes into play not about my book my book is a full circle moment we’ll talk about that but I created a swimwear company when I didn’t have my voice that that doesn’t even make that doesn’t make sense yes it does but I was in this dark place but all of a sudden when I I was doing things I’m like, “Oh, that’s a that’s a great idea.” Like in my in my head. This was all in my head. But then I started doing something where I was wearing something and people would say to me, “What’s that?” And then I’m like, “Oh, I created it.” You know, I put it together. And then sure enough, I did start this company, which I still have today. Teauit fits everybody to a tea. What’s it called? Fits Everybody to Teauit Fits Everybody to a Tea. where I it was it was all about loving yourself. See, we didn’t realize that because, you know, after having the baby, not feeling good in my body. I created not coverups, covers that you feel good in the skin you’re in, not wearing a wet t-shirt into the pool, wearing this beautiful sexy thing that you could take into the pool. And you know, I still today have that creation. I created other things, but I’m getting up. The topic is about the creativity that popped up into my head and was spurred by this feeling not unsure about myself but I created something amazing. But what I want to say is that when I started that in 2018 my tagline to my customers is still moments in motion with love because the love of your body swimming that was the tagline because you’re not a size or a fit. It’s all about empowering women with their how they feel about their body and self-love. So, I was starting the self-love thing then that then just rolls full circle into my book.

I love it. I love it so much and and it’s wonderful that you’re doing all these things around self-love because it’s so vital so vital for change in our lives and happiness. So, tell us what’s next for Denise. What’s next for Denise? Um really what are you involved in next? My goodness. Doing so many things. Yes. So many things going on. So you know like I said it’s took a I just started I did pre-production and then postp production of my video for Yoga Motions and Love. It’s coming to life. It’s going to be in a you know video format which is amazing. Um like I when I look at it myself I’m like like I’m like wow. Because like I said it’s a life of its own. it took on a life of its own. But partnering with different, you know, charitable organizations, that’s really important to me. Bringing hope to children because children are always my first love, you know, as an educator. They they were always my heart. Um, so doing things like that, even Earth Day, it was just on earthj.org. They they interviewed me about, you know, how does selflove help the planet? And it was amazing the things that we talked about because I’m going to tell you the three things about that. So if you don’t so my book helps you to appreciate. So if you don’t have an appreciation then you can learn about something and if you’re not learning about it you can be an activist. So it’s appreciation education and then action. I love it. Yeahation education and action action. And that’s what that is what we have to take in life. Yes. Exactly.

So what’s one final thing that you would like to tell say to everyone out there? I wanted to say to everyone that in my book I affirm you but I want you to believe in yourself and I want you to take every moment to know how important you are in this moment. So that that’s my message to everyone to always look for the glimmer of light and look and know that you are so important in this moment and say it out loud. Yes. And you are a glimmer of light to someone in your life. We all are. Yes. We really are. We really are. So thank you so much for taking this deep dive into your life. how we can move from being stuck and feeling that there’s nothing in our lives, right? And staying stuck in that dark place and evolving into our purpose, our purpose in life and waking up to all the possibilities in our lives. So Denise, thank you so much again for coming on Wake Up with Marcy. Thank you Marcy. I am blessed to be here with you and thanks for for you sharing your light and love because together the the light and love gets bigger. It does together. It so does Denise. All right. Thank you again and thank you to all of you out there that have listened and please comment, like. We want to hear from you if you have any questions.

Denise, where can they find you? Okay, so Instagram is Denise. Caesar or you could go to my website denise.com or anywhere you know anywhere on the social platform. Caesar. That’s right. Yes. Denise. All right. Thank you again and I will see you all soon and uh I look forward to the next conversation. Bye bye.