Wake Up With Marci

Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy, a deep dive into self-discovery. I’m your host, Marcy Hopkins, and this is the space where we get real about life, transformation, and finding our true selves. Welcome to Wake Up with Marcy. This is a space where we get real talk about life, healing, and empowerment. I’m your host, Marcy Hopkins, and I want to start off with a question. Have you ever felt like you were doing it all, being everything to everyone, while secretly falling apart inside? I’m going to guess a lot of you out there said yes to that. I know I’ve been there and it’s a hard place to be. And in this episode, I’m going to pull back that curtain on my own journey. Get real. is I want to share with all of you what I’ve been through because I went through what looked like I had it all together but I was going through burnout and overwhelm stress and I was handling it all in a very negative way. And I want to share with you guys how I got to a place of joy. I found my voice, self-love, absolutely know my worth today. So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re pouring from an empty cup, this is your wakeup call and I’m here to help you through it.

There was a time where I really thought that I had it all together. And I knew that I didn’t, but I didn’t want anyone else to know that. And I was so afraid to ask for help because that meant I was failing. that being a strong woman meant carrying everything, doing everything, trying to make everyone else happy without complaining or breaking down. I was the mom, the wife, was big time in the community, working working at the schools, was a host of Wake Up with Marcy. And on paper, I looked like I was killing it, you know, but inside I was drowning. And like so many women, I was chasing this idea of being perfect. But perfection isn’t sustainable. It’s a mask. And behind that mask for me, I was exhausted. I felt lonely. And I was silently spiraling, spiraling out of control.

And I remember I was at a women’s retreat and I was sharing about my TV show and how everything was going so great, right? And someone said to me that if you’re not making money, it’s just a hobby. And I realized there was a part of me that was so angry because her words stung me so bad. But that pain from what she did, I had to go back to my room and like really reflect on what that was about. But what I realized is that it wasn’t her words. What stung is the way that I felt about myself and that realization that I wasn’t valuing myself that I was waiting for this external permission to believe that I mattered. And I knew that it was time to stop and create a change for myself outside of all the other many changes that I had made.

But what did I do? There were three transformational shifts that I made to help me change my life. And the first was gratitude and being present instead of trying to be perfect. I stopped obsessing over what was missing and started acknowledging what I had. Daily gratitude and meditation helped me to rewire my brain from black to love. And I know this is hard when we’re going through a lot, when we’re feeling overwhelmed. Everyone needs someone, something, and that someone is you. But start just being present and thinking about what is it that I do have that makes me happy. Or maybe just recognizing what you have. Maybe it’s not making you happy yet because you keep looking at the things that are lacking in your life. Are you in a home? Do you have children that love you, that need you? I know it’s overwhelming, but they love you. And that’s a gift. You have a home. You have food? Do you have your limbs, your sight, your senses, sheets on your bed, clothes on your back? Do you have clothes to give your children? There’s really so many things that we can be grateful for. Maybe you’re annoyed with your job or those things in the community that you have to do that are overwhelming you. But do you have a car to get into to get there? Do you have a way that can allow you to get your yourself to those things? Are you making friendships through those those things that you are volunteering in or maybe in your job? And I’m going to talk about how you can create those healthy boundaries and such, but right now I want you to start looking at the things that you have in your life that you can be grateful for in your life.

So I’d like to challenge you to each morning before you even get out of bed, before your feet touch the floor, think of three things that you are grateful for. Okay? three things. Cup of coffee that you’re about to have, the pillow under your head, the blanket that’s on top of you. There’s three very easy ones. Waking up to a new day, the possibilities of a new day. Just start writing those things down or just thinking them. I used to have a gratitude box and it was fantastic because I would write these things down and put them in there and if things were going difficult in my life or I just wanted to remind myself I’d go back and read them and it really helped me.

So now we’re going to talk about those boundaries and asking for help. I had to unlearn that lie that I had in my head that doing it solo meant I was strong. And I know that our pasts have a lot of influence on this. I felt like I was alone as a kid. I didn’t really have my mom there. I went through a lot of abuse. I was moved and shuffled around. I had to learn to be a survivor and I had to learn how to do it on my own to survive. But we don’t have to do it alone. That’s something that we have programmed ourselves to believe and we need to shift that thinking because you are showing so much strength and you will be able to do so much more and be a better person if you start asking for help. I had so much guilt asking for help. Like I said, like if I couldn’t cook a good dinner every single night, I felt guilty about that. I thought my husband was not going to be happy with me. But then I got to a place where I could talk to my husband and say that I needed help or I could say no to something without the guilt, the guilt of it all. And I learned that my needs matter, too. And your needs matter. Self-care matters. Taking care of yourself first is so vital to be the best person for yourself and then for others.

And then owning your voice and your worth. For me, I stopped playing small. I stopped drinking. I used to be so afraid to to voice how I felt about something or even knowing how to communicate because growing up, I mean, my grandfather, everybody would just explode and you didn’t know how to communicate because then you acted like nothing happened. And it was so hard for me to express the things that I needed to express. I would just keep pushing pushing down until I exploded. Love to know who out there can relate to that. But I started sharing my needs. I started speaking up even though it was uncomfortable. And the moment that I did that, everything started to change and people start to view you different and respect you actually even more. You can start small. You know, maybe you’re not in the mood for Mexican food that night, but you’re just trying to go with the flow so you don’t create any tension between the family. But it’s okay to say, you know what, I’m really not in the mood for Mexican food tonight. I’d like to have Asian food or Italian food. Throw out two other options and just start small in that way.

Today, I’m almost 10 years sober. And I don’t re rely on dealing with my emotions and feeling small and feeling stuck and feeling overwhelmed and taken advantage of and scared. I don’t I don’t deal with that any anymore by drinking the wine at night thinking that that was what’s going to get me through the rest of the day or drinking because I’d shoved so many things down or maybe I felt like a failure that day or uh maybe something I said I I’m reeling about it and think that someone else is is judging me. I don’t have to rely on the wine anymore. Maybe you’re you’re grabbing that glass glass of wine every night at 5 and it’s beginning to become a bottle of wine a night. Maybe you are dealing with these things in other ways. Whether it’s overwork, uh excessive working out, maybe it maybe it’s food. We all have something that we use so often to mask the pain. But we need to stop chasing that perfectionism and people pleasing and feel okay with ourselves today. I am okay with myself. I finally know that I am enough.

And here’s what I want you to hear. You don’t need to earn your worth. You don’t need to prove your value. You already have it. There may be some things that you need to grow in like I did and that’s possible. All these things, these old limiting beliefs and the programming from our youth, these things can all be changed. The pain of abuse or or staying small because our parents wouldn’t allow us talk to talk. So, we learned that we wouldn’t we’re not supposed to talk. We’re not supposed to show up. Nobody wants to hear what we have to say. But all these things can change and I want to help you do that.

So I hope you will start creating some of these simple changes in your life. The gratitude, stopping the people pleasing and the bad cycles because you don’t think you’re enough because you are. And I know it’s not easy. I know it’s not easy, but make the decision today to make a change for yourself. We don’t have to just survive. We can thrive. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to speak up. You are allowed to take up space. And above all, you are worthy.

And if this episode resonated with you, I hope you won’t just move on. Let’s go deeper together. Connect with me at wake upwitharcygmail.com. Follow the conversations on Instagram at wake upwitharcy. I also have a blog and I have what is it called? The email. I couldn’t think of that. See, I wasn’t perfect there. I couldn’t think for a second what the word was that I was trying to share. And that’s okay. I’m not perfect. I’m human just like you. So, I’m owning that. I am owning that. So, if you sign up, I have a email that comes out weekly with last week’s episode and this week’s episode and tools and behind the scenes and stories, just things that can help you to move and thrive in your life because you don’t have to do this alone. Let’s wake up together to the possibilities that are available to us and know we don’t have to do this alone because I’m here for you. All right, guys. I’ll see you next week and I hope you will follow, comment, uh maybe you could rate the show, all those things to help grow Wake Up with Marcy. Let’s create the ripple effect together. All right, guys. I’ll see you next week.